Saturday, December 29, 2012

In da house...

And what a house it is...overlooking the cloud hills and up into the Ohau's.
It's good to back in the Mackenzie...
It only takes 1200 kms, 16 hours in the car, 4 hours on Cook Strait, 12 cups of coffee, $200 of fuel, and 8 CDs to get here.

Spent yesterday in Christchurch. I might have spent 4 years in the Garden City but its now really hard to find your bearings. So many buildings are gone...really sad.

Wave and high cloud in Omarama today. Rain tomorrow by the sounds of the forecast so it'll be a chance to do something else.

However it sounds like rain almost anywhere you go in NZ tomorrow.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

The Heika Parata approach to consultation...

There is a nice little parallel between the bumbling performance of the Minister of Education and my local clubs High Command...
Try to ignore the issues and maybe they will go away over the Xmas break...fat chance sweetie's...

The public won't forgive the Minister and she'll be for the chop sometime in the New Year whilst we and all the reporters are at the beach...
And I'm not about to let this change in club direction from promoting activity to counting beans drop.
And I'm not a solitary aggrieved, single issue, grandstanding, loony (well maybe a few of those) but I'm not alone...so thanks to those who have noted these strange goings on...

And while I'm on farcical, out of touch organisations...the National Rifle Association believe arming teachers and putting armed police officers in every American School is the solution to their out of control gun culture...
If they want the constitutional right to bare arms...take your bloody shirt off you total nutters...






Friday, December 21, 2012

I'm still here...just.

So the Mayan's got it wrong...it's the 21st and we 're all still alive. Problem is the Mayan calender doesn't say whether it's the 21st GMT, or NZST, does it allow for daylight savings? And if they were so good with their predictions then why did they cease to exist as a civilisation???

However here in Tauranga my patience is being tested by the local High Command.
In October I communicated to the then club president that I would subscribe to the Club's option of taking a hanger space for 6 months at the listed price - $120.
Now I've been told the deal has changed mid-way through the term. The last 3 months have been cancelled and the price per month has gone up 4 fold.
Clearly they are struggling with the Fair Trading Act, Contract Law and maybe the concept of integrity as well.

Whilst the sum of money isn't material to either the club or myself, this goes to the bigger issue. Should the over-riding thrust of the club be left in the hands of "bean counters" or activity promoters?? Along with the hanger rental increase, the tow charges have been increased, and despite a number of members suggesting the Duo charges are a major dis-incentive to people flying said aircraft no reductions could be expected.
I suspect the "bean counters" main arguments will be;

1) we need more revenue to balance the budget - true but more activity always delivers a better outcome for all...but raising charges will just decrease activity. In fact the best profit outcome for the club is to have no activity at all...but remind me why we are here, and why we are a club??? It's also worth remembering that we generate a surplus of $50-60k each year from the shops...so we are hardly "strapped for cash".
2) we don't like spending on promotion because we can trust to trial flights to bring new members - a strategy that has failed to work for 20 years and won't work post Part 115
3) the charges at other clubs or hangers about the airfield are higher - irrelevant because we aren't competing in that market, its about what works for us.

Alas things are not well...sadly.
The upshot of this new policy regime is I have removed my glider from the hanger therefore the club will get;
a) no more rental income, and there isn't a que of other aircraft waiting for space so little chance of a replacement
b) less tow income as I now have GNM in a trailer and may choose to fly elsewhere...the benefactors are likely to be Piako, Taupo or Omarama.
c) the possibility of no annual subscription either as this total lack of integrity means it would be best if I shifted clubs. I also know a few others contemplating a similar move as well..
d) no newsletter editor...although I suspect one of the "bean counters" is dying to take over this role...

I guess it's not too late...an apology from the High Command might be a start.

Given that the total membership continues to decline, general activity per remaining club member also continues to decline, and there is no plan for promotion and fostering gliding, then can the last person out please turn off the lights...






Sunday, December 16, 2012

Is this my last post???

The end of the world is nigh...yeah right.
Although the concept is quite interesting...

Is it worth buying Xmas presents?
Sorry...but why am I bothering to mow the lawns???
If you only 6 days left what would you do?

Go buy a gun and shoot up the local school...when will that country learn that whilst the National Rifle Assn claims that "guns don't kill people...people kill people"...THE GUN HELPS...you have to wonder about the collective IQ of "greatest democracy on earth"...oh well, I guess a country that finds it acceptable to launch drone strikes against schools in Pakistan isn't going to put much effort into stopping disturbed kids getting access to Uzi's.

Unfortunately we won't need to sweat these decisions...or maybe we should...

Top of mind at present is where is my Spot Tracker??
If the world ends I want the big fellow to be able to track my movements...
Actually it seems I've misplaced it...bloody thing, you'd think being bright orange I could find it in my office...I suspect this reflects on the state of my office as much as anything...

Gearing up for Omarama.
Glide is packed...then unpacked cos I forgot to remove the batteries, then repacked, then unpacked cos I decided to put the parachute and stuff in the cockpit etc etc
Airspace and Navpoint files up to data...spare radio, hat and so on.
Getting slightly nervous...I haven't flown in those mountains for 2 years...
But no Spot...bugger.

I watched the club's LS4 launch yesterday into a strong sea breeze convergence. Turns out it was the Bald One...it looks like he made it home...unlike last year.
We launched into a great sky last Xmas Eve...only to have to spend the evening travelling around the Matamata area trying to find wally...sorry Roy.

 
And I should sign off now as this is starting to sound like a Facebook page...
See you on the other side...of Cook Strait that is...


Sunday, December 9, 2012

What a great day...

It turned out fairly much as forecast.
Launched at noon. The sea breeze had already started in Tauranga and had moved 10 kms inland. A tow to 3000ft (cloud base) and a dash inland resulted in a 4 knot climb in front of the convergence. Bases inland were 6000ft but slowly got higher and were 8000ft by the time we returned home.
Best climb was 8 knots but most were 3-5 knots.
My colleague got into a spot of bother near Bennydale and we had to wait while he struggled back up.
The plan had been a 300km out and return (as far as I know no-one at Tauranga has done one in thermals...wave is cheating). We didn't quite make the bottom T/P.
However saw a few others out and about...a Ventus from Auckland and a LS6 from Taupo.

Airways vectored a A320 between myself and Roy at Tokoroa. Here I was looking out for a Q300 and this really big piece metal cruised through. I'm guessing the heavy metal guys were worried. However they were at 7000ft...I'm at a loss why they would want to be any lower over Tokoroa...which raises the question why Airways feel the need to control the airspace all the way down to 4500ft. If you were a A320 pilot heading into Rotorua would you really want to be that low over tokoroa flying into rising ground and 40 kms out from Rotorua Airport???

Sunday. Looks as good albeit with less cloud. Plenty of strong climbs however the sea breeze will move quickly.
GNM is in it's trailer ready for the trip to Omarama.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

It's a long long way out...But...

Saturday looks like a decent badge task day. A good 300km thernal flight should be possible...and maybe even a 500km...Maurice.

I'll update late tomorrow.

However if it's looking ok I pull GNM out for a practise/badge flight.

Update - Saturday - not looking quite so good...there will be thermals about and once you get into the high country cloud base is expected to be 7-8000ft. However the instability will allow some quite heavy showers form in the afternoon.
Therefore an element of chance will enter the equation...

Monday, December 3, 2012

The space we need...

Not the bit between your ears but the bit between the ground and outer space that we need to operate in.
I got the sense late last week that various members thought we had successfully seen off Airways for ever...think again young grasshoppers...
This from an editorial I wrote in our club magazine in 2008...

Changing subject for a moment and in reference to a previous editorial regarding Airspace, it is regrettable the once again our CFI has had to fend off Airways totally misguided attempts to increase the regulation of a public resource – airspace. The folly of Airways approach is that with limited resources and controllers they seem convinced they need to control more and more of the skies. Logic would suggest controlling less and less airspace would allow better management of those areas left under their control. But logic and bureaucrats don’t make good bedfellows…
 
And later that year I also made these somewhat prophetic comments;
 
Experience the freedom of gliding…yeah right. Not when Airways are involved. The gliding movement has lost its attempt to preserve unfettered airspace up to 6500ft in the Waikato for the enjoyment of the general public rather than be at the behest of commercial IFR training and airline organisations.
The changes may not directly affect local flying in Tauranga but it will impact on those attempting to fly out over the Waikato, and especially those going south beyond Te Poi/Tirau. Whereas all airspace up to 6500ft was uncontrolled in the greater Waikato basin, now that level has been reduced to 4500ft. In a concession the airspace above and North of the Waharoa airfield can be opened to 6500ft on advise (i.e. you call ATC and they have 15 minutes to open it – no exceptions), but the area south is on approval. And we have all experienced what “approval” means…any busy days, any glitches in radar coverage, or any other pseudo excuse will result in problems.
Can we live with this?? We don’t have much choice, but clearly the established practise of meeting with Airways on their terms during airspace reviews doesn’t appear to be very
fruitful. Our leaders in the gliding movement attended lots of meetings, and we should thank them for their time and effort, but maybe a more “political” approach might be required next
time…headlines that read “Government body seeks to remove public freedom” might be a better method. And will there be a next time??? You bet there will be. If one looks at the new airspace map you can predict next airspace theft will be to lower the whole region to 3500ft in line with the airspace around Rotorua and Hamilton airports. This could also impact on areas Alpha and Bravo. What can we do???
Use the new upper areas in the Waikato as much as possible. Go cross-country as often as possible. Always open GAA 255 and GAA 254 when you intend to go west of Area Bravo,
document the reasons (busy, lack of staff, bad hair day etc) that Airways deny access to GAA 255 (the approval airspace south of Tirau).
If we don’t use it we are going to lose it…

We will need to be on guard for the next infringement on our Airspace.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Like...whatever...

The forecast suggested a nice afternoon. Certainly it looked great at 12 noon. Light westerly, clouds that looked like they marked 6 knot climbs, very little high cloud...it should be great...Yeah right.

It was a struggle to get over the hill...which is where I wanted to be.

It took me three attempts.
The first ended at 1800ft out of glide range of home...bugger. Surprisingly, and thankfully, and luckily I bumped into a 5 knot climb but by then I'd drifted all the way back to the city.
So try try again...or so said that Scottish chap - Robert Bruce.
Attempt two ended in the bush about 4 kms short of the ridge with a dash back to the Poripori strip (which I checked was clear of stock)...followed by a very poor climb to stay airborne.
At this point I was about to give up and go home, mow the lawns...however I heard both GOI and GKM launch. So pride, ego and mana was at stake.
Surprisingly attempt 3 was a piece of cake.

Once over the hill it was OK only.
However the trip back was interesting. I left the ridge at 4500ft. 20 kms later overhead the airfield we were at VNE still at 4000ft.

For the first time in living memory the Northern Regionals had a fully flyable week. It might have been ridge based without a truely great thermal day or two...but I can't remember a regional contest that didn't involve sitting about telling stories.

Gliding is happening in Omarama...how do I know this??? If put your glasses on...and stare at the picture below...

Saturday, December 1, 2012

North then South

The latest issue of "North and South" has a great article on our local hero, long time club member, swimmer, surf life saver, skier and all round good guy....SupaSid.

Well done old chap...

The article closes with a sentence about being young of mind...not of body.
Reminds me of another club member, and my fellow partner in some crimes...the "bald one".

I need to remind myself when the crap piles up...every day is a new chance...

We won the battle...

Against the infringement of our airspace by Airways NZ.
Well done to the 18 glider pilots who submitted against this nonsense. The "Heat Map" developed by Tim deserves special mention...excellent stuff.

But will we lose the war?
Our freedom to operate in the Waikato area has been retained for the present but I expect Airways to "come again" sometime soon.
These cardi-wearers have little regard for their mission statement "Freedom to Operate" for anyone other than commercial interests.
So they will "re-group" and have another go in a changed format that sets out to achieve the same outcome. Less airspace for us, but more for them to control with less staff...a visitor from Mars would see the obvious...its totally flawed logic.

Today looks too blue to do much. I might trundle down to the local club and drag GNM out for a spin. GYL is out of action for a week or so.

Scott...if you read this blog...I'm being bombarded with bogus e-mail messages from your Facebook account. Take heart...from time to time some-one hacks my Xtra e-mail account and sends messages out of our "Vacation response" option. Bastards...you'd think there would be better things to do...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

A Day at the Races

Despite not entering the Regionals I did manage to get over for today. No one had planned to fly GYL...so what was one to do???
I enthused my daughter to be the passenger, navigator, and ballast all rolled into one.

 
It turned out to be a blue thermal and ridge day. It started with some marked thermals and weak ridge. By the time we headed out towards Maramarua it was very blue, hazy and daunting. 3 of us tipee toe-ed out from 3200ft at Thames for the 18 km run to the 20 km circle around the turnpoint.
The solitary thermal we found on the return journey got us back to the hills and heading south.
As we approached the bottom circle my passengers need to pee was greater than her need for speed.
All and all a nice day.
The other issue of note was a landing out incident by a glider with a turbo installed. To early to be really sure yet but it may fit the pattern of late...turbo/self launchers getting into trouble as the pilot gets distracted.
Unfortunately it further proves the point I made a few weeks back about BFRs and whether the focus on spinning might be misdirected.
Pictures to come...

Sunday, November 25, 2012

A Family Affair

After years and years of trying I finally got some my family up in the air.
 
 
 





Friday, November 23, 2012

In to a paddock they went...





Just a stones through away from Tatua. The highest paying Dairy Company in NZ...cos they steal cheap milk from Fonterra...but that's a whole other debate.

I am reliably informed that the winglets and tailplane were removed after the landing and not during...

Thursday, November 22, 2012

U get what U ask 4...

Apologies for the txt language...there's nothing much more depressing than an older fellow trying to look young and hip...think John Key. However the full spelling doesn't fit...

I asked for a copy of an old photo of the Port of Tauranga area...and within hours a photo turned up.
Thanks JR. Taken in 1977.


Going further back below is 1943...thanks Bruce.

No harbour bridge, no container terminal and associated wharf, no timber storage, no Hewlett's Road, no marina...oh and no Gliding Club. We were still in Belk Rd.


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

South Is Results

You wouldn't know it but the South Island Regionals are on....
Why wouldn't you know...because for reasons I don't understand the results are not published on Soaring Spot.
I know Soaring Spot is a site owned and operated by Naviter and therefore plastered with ads etc...but so what. It's where the vast majority of contest results are published and it's where most go to follow contest that are in progress. Come on guys the modern world awaits you...just look north.

So I have belatedly found the site for the results...
http://www.glidingcomps.42.net.nz/sireg2012/index.php

They are already 4 days into the contest with 30 or so competitors. It's very close at the top of the Standard/15 meter class.

Hopefully all are having fun...which is what it's all about.

Locally the X-country course continues over the hill at Matamata. Looks like reasonable weather for training with a mix of sea breezes and thermals.
Next week is the Nth Is regionals. I can't free my diary up enough to compete but should at least head over for a day or two...either in GNM or GYL (ballast will be required).

Monday, November 19, 2012

Looking for ballast...

Flying by yourself is lonely...so I needed some extra ballast yesterday. The first ballast bag took the shape of Bill Mace. And the second trip I used Pieter Bronkhorst...a new Piako member with 9 hours on the clock. Pieter had a flash iPhone thingy...hence -

A warning to any unsuspecting members found loitering about...expect to become ballast at short notice...





 
28 knots at 258 degrees...not bad for a ridge day. Doing 90 knots and still going up...120 knots tended to result in no loss or gain of height.

 
Awww...a nice sunset

 

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Sooner or later it had to happen...

I finally got myself organised and went flying in our Duo - GYL.
It's not new...being a rebuilt Duo after a mishap in Omarama.
However that means the wings are new, as is the canopy.
It turns out I had flown the glider in its old configuration as GYY in Omarama 5 years ago.
The 4 differences that I can ascertain between a Duo and a Duo XL are;

The roll rate is slightly (only slightly mind) slower...
The view from the back seat is slightly less...although not looking forward but rather when you try to look behind.
The lack of landing flaps does affect your approach angle and touch down speed.
The smaller wheel locks up on wet grass...

The plus is I can add heaps of water...which is virtually impossible in the turbo version.

Strong ridge lift today. We did the Kaimai Speed Challenge in 32 minutes (as best as i could tell).
187 kph.
I'll download the track later in the week.

X-country course starts this week. Lots of activity this afternoon as gliders were being rigged etc.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Complexity...and clubs

A cocktail that doesn't always mix very well.
The issue of spinning and the requirement to demonstrate this in a basic training glider has clearly exercised the minds of our local instructors.

At first glance it appears an easy issue...
Stalling and spinning an aircraft close to the ground can be terminal...for the aircraft and its pilot. So we should know how to recognise a pending stall situation and how to recover from it...all good so far.

The complex bit is that currently the leading cause of gliding mishaps is land-out mistakes. And especially that of managing self-launching/turbo gliders when time is running short.

However not all our pilots go X-Country so are unlikely to face this problem. Further, some of our instructors only do "trial flights" and it is arguable that issues around managing passengers is the biggest risk they face...weight and balance for example...which may have caught out the pilot of the parachute jump plane in Fox Glacier last year...

We have pilots who may never fly the training aircraft each year but are required to do a BFR in one...one wonders whether it would be advisable to use a two seater more closely related to their most frequently utilised aircraft (if you can follow that convoluted sentence...)...

So I don't mean to be critical...BUT...surely being too prescriptive may have a counter-productive result. The words of the newly created rule "...an annual check flight in which flying skills including spin recovery competence are demonstrated..." might be better worded as "...an annual check flight that has regard for the likely flight skills that will be required by the pilot to be undertaken".
Stalls in turns or thermals can be demonstrated without the huge loss of height that spinning entails which then allows more time (and altitude) to demonstrate other skills...raising the turbo on the Duo perhaps...

However, with the imposition of Part 115, the airspace invasion about to happen in the Waikato, and the declining membership this whole issue might become a moot point...

Tomorrows forecast holds the possibility of westerlies and ridge/wave conditions, and perhaps some thermals added in to boot. I think the time has come for me to venture forth in GYL...or GNM...too too much choice...

Friday, November 16, 2012

Part 115...it just keeps giving...

We were assured by CAA (last year) that Part 115 would be cheap and easy implement. The Minister at the time wrote to us and confirmed it should be no more than $300 for our club to register.
Medicals for a Class 2 would be a minor issue. All was well...

Yeah right...

This from the facebook page of a sole operator who takes people flying in a Bi-plane.
"If you are over 40 the medical cost for each pilot will be $1326 per year. The annual audit maybe $3000 per year but probably more, and the Part 115 certificate about $20,000".
What CAA and the Minister choose not to tell us last year was all the underlying CAA costs were going up after the implementation of Part 115. How honest was that!!!!

Two days left at the Aussie GP. Brett's in 4th place. Will need to pull out all the stops to move up the leader board. Go go...

I've read a number of submissions to CAA regarding the attempted theft of our airspace by Airways.
All make good points. However will it fall on deaf ears?? I must admit that the modern process undertaken by Gov't and Local authorities of consultation is really code for..."this is what we intend to do...we will listen to your squawking for a while but will otherwise proceed anyhow...".

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Go Brett Go

A second on Day 1 of the Australian GP...well done. And only 1.5kph behind the winner on a 320km task. Well done...well done indeed.


Monday, November 12, 2012

This is a bit late...but...

Timelapse and track from last Sunday (4th Nov)
It was a great day. Passed a number of gliders from Taupo on their last day of the Central Contest.
Light westerlies with well marked thermals.
The timelapse shows the blue hole over Tauranga filling in by 1pm.
266km 3 point triangle...although had I had declared a 300km it would have been a piece of cake to do another 40kms. I got bored by the time I got to Tirohia and headed home. Lazy really.

 
Brett Hunter and his JS1 are competing in the Aussie GP starting today.
Go Soaring Spot for results.
I'll see if I can find a better link.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Today I'm flying something...

Haven't decided whether its a big discus or a little discus but judging from the forecast anything and everything will stay aloft today...

This forecast is as good as it gets folks...
Bases of 6-8500ft depending where you are.
6-8 knot thermals.
Light winds...maybe south but with a little west influence.
Not much overdevelopment....maybe a little in the strong areas...hills etc

Yippeee

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Days are getting longer...its getting warmer...

Right???

WRONG


Omarama Airfield this morning...

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Low level pass in a 737

The things you can discover on Google Earth.
I was investigating an overland trip down the west coast of the North Island from Raglan to Awakino.
Following the road as it twists and winds it way around hills, forest and valleys a small shape caught my attention...


An Unidentified Flying Object...or the mid-day flight from Christchurch to Auckland.

Monday, October 29, 2012

For the love of God...make it stop...

These constant attacks on our airspace...
This strategy of chipping away at the freedom of unfettered airspace for the public to pursue their chosen activity seems designed to wear us down.
The latest attempt to lower large tracts of the Waikato to 3500ft and the area further south from 6500ft to 5500ft fits with the overall plan to control all airspace above 3500ft right across the central Nth Is.
Why do they want to do this??

Reading the latest proposal it's because they (Airways) seem unable to control IFR traffic around Hamilton airport. Nevermind the fact that Airways could have objected to the expansion of CTC operations, nevermind the fact that Performance Based Nav is due to roll out over the Bay Sector at some point, and nevermind the fact that they once promised that if we (glider pilots) installed Transponders we'd never have any more airspace issues in the future...yeah right.
4 years ago when the 2 GA areas were established (254 on request and 255 on approval) it was never suggested that Airways would resist opening both areas at the same time. So once you open 254 it seems there is real reluctance to open the other...despite assurances this wouldn't be the case.

I'm guessing we have little chance of changing this outcome...consultation in Airways speak means..."here's the plan...take it or leave it".

I know we are only a small group of merry pilots and the all important IFR heavy metal aircraft are the "Gods" but surely we are entitled to access to what is a public good...that being the airspace above us.




Saturday, October 27, 2012

Hi de hi...

Today...Saturday...should be an OK gliding day. Thermals of 4-5 knots and light west to NW winds. The only challenge is it could be a little blue.
I'm off to Wellywood for the day so that I can be back in time for tomorrows rain.
That's good planning...not.

Perhaps today would a good day for a check flight or BFR for any members who are a little rusty.
All you need is a willing instructor and one of the clubs 2 seaters...any 2 seater will do. But one suspects it should be the 2 seater you expect to do most of your challenging flying in...
So if you expect to do lots of local flying, aerobatics or teaching newbies use a Puchcaz, if you thing is trial flights and maybe short X-country flights or flying the LS4 perhaps the Janus might be best...but if you expect to do X-country instruction, long X-country flights involving the use of a turbo...a logical person would point you in the direction of the Duo...wouldn't they???

Friday, October 26, 2012

So much to write about...

So little time.
We are about to see a major airspace violation...by Airways. The cardie wearers want to reduce uncontrolled airspace around the Matamata area. See map.



More to follow once I catch my breath...BUT picture this...
Airways finally get their wish and have all the airspace between Hamilton, Rotorua and Tauranga lowered to 3500ft. At this stage X-country gliding in the Waikato is effectively kazumped...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Today in a word...Sunny

Which means Blue.
Very blue.
Both the RASP and the Squiggly lines shows little chance of any thermal markers despite there being thermals about.
Forecast thermal strengthens of 4-6 knots and a sea breeze convergence all look promsing...but we will need quite high ground temps (25 degrees plus) to get Cu development.
Might be some markers on the convergence.
Lets see how accurate the forecast are...

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Out and about.

Yesterday (Saturday) fairly much followed the forecast.
SW winds in the morning slowly turning more northerly.
Ridge and some wave.
Cloud bases slowly climbing to 5000ft in the afternoon.

First up was a check flight/BFR for one of our D Cat instructors. A tow to the ridge...24 mins which if it's split 2 ways, and at our X-country rate of $3.50 per minute, works out at $40-ish dollars each.
So there we were...practising in ridge lift and thermals up towards Thames and back and no sign of life at Piako. We assumed their tow-plane must be U/S...but no...a push out from the ridge to overfly the airfield showed a line up of gliders (by now it was 1pm)...I'm not sure daylight savings time has started in the Waikato...

So time to head home...we left the ridge at 4000ft and had the worst run back into Tauranga I can remember. By the time we got to the Wairoa River we were at 1400ft. Nothing worked...quite unusual. A 3 knot thermal over Judea got us high enough to comfortably cross the city...but you live and learn  I guess.
However it raises the usual challenge...at 1400ft over the Wairoa River in 4 knots down do you raise the turbo (I forgot to mention that we were in the super duper Duo turbo). We were on final glide with 600ft spare...there isn't many land-out options around the river, or between the river and the airfield...the only real strip had beef cattle on it... the short answer is - in this position I think the turbo is disadvantage. There is a real risk of focusing on the "let's put the motor up" and losing sight of the option of finding a climb or a land-out option. It all happens quite quickly. But here in lies the reason for check flights...we had the chance to analysis the decision making.

Back on the ground at 1.30pm with time on my hands. I was filling in for another instructor...but we had no trial flights (something we should get used to with Part 115 looming) and, far more concerning, only one student who opted to go flying in the Pipistrel. So a quick wax and polish of the little Discus and we were off again.


A 7 knot climb off tow to 4500ft (bases were 5000ft but airspace gets in the way), followed by a run to the Kaimai's and back and then a climb in wave to 7500ft. the wave was very weak at 4500ft but by the time we climbed to 7000ft we were going up at 5-6 knots.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Change is as good as a rest...

The blog needed a bit of spruce up...
Let me know if this format is crap...I already know that various people think the content is...

Running at about 1500 hits per month...mostly from NZ but a significant number from the US of A and Australia.

Still looking like a Wave day tomorrow but probably not good enough to make the jump from the Bay of Plenty down to Taupo and then across to the Hawkes Bay. I know some-one just itching to do this...
Besides I have to be back to judge the local Calf club day on Saturday.

Is a Dingo faster than a Griffin???

Apparently...
For those who have forgotten their Greek history a Griffin had the body of a lion but the wings of an eagle...
But in the outback a Dingo still goes faster than a Griffin...
Don't believe me??
Check out the club class scores from yesterday...

Team Dingo - 4259
Team Griffin - a bit less.

But a Weaver is much faster at - 4410.

But a Hunter is the fastest...5410 points.

Looks like conditions for the Nationals across the ditch have been the exact opposite of last year. To refresh your memory last year it rained, and rained, and rained and they called the whole contest off...quite like over here from time to time.

The wave season is upon us here in the land of the long white cloud. In fact on the return Air NZ flight from Wellington late yesterday the Q300 pilot (who is a glider pilot as well) took a small deviation from his track to soar the Ruapehu Wave...I think he was pleased one of his passengers noticed.

And this form the Naki...cool eh.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

4 go mad in the desert...

Kiwi's lost in the great Australian outback...
Not so Live reports from the Australian Nationals.
Maurice Weaver is updating the Tauranga Club site on his (and others) adventures in the big dry. http://www.glidingtauranga.co.nz/news/
Seems Brett is doing OK against the local seasoned veterans...4th today, 3rd a few days back. It does seem some-one supplied him with an out of date Turnpoint File and hence he lost most of his day 2 points ...kinda reminds me of a 1 Day Cricket Match a few decades back.
Team Griffin appears to struggling to get going...but there is 3 days left.

The really weird part is the only actual news updates that I can find are coming from a displaced Aussie who lives in NZ competing in an Aussie Nationals...it appears the locals think anybody who's not on site isn't interested in following the event. Yeah yeah...we can get the scores off SeeYou but what about some news, gossip, photos, reports...oh well ho hum...promotion of our sport misses another opportunity.

I plugged my new PNA into the LX V7 today...with a few adjustments it seems to be operational. Gadgets complete...time for some flying. Looks like wave tomorrow and Friday. I'm off to Wellywood tomorrow so it'll have to be Friday. If any body's keen I will be too.

Looking about the hanger I see the forlorn shape of the Duo.
I hear some rumours that the current charge out rate is putting members off flying it.
I suspect this is true...and now we own and operate this large piece of plastic the best thing we could do is encourage as much use age as possible. A review is required...which might include raising the annual membership fee to cover all fixed costs but making the flying charges cheaper. It won't help me but the general health of the club still interests me...I want to go flying with others.

And before I hear some bleating about the weather (we have had rain, snow, wind, more rain etc etc) bear in mind that the Duo I own a part of has done heaps of flying - why you might ask?? Cos it's free...at least on a per minute basis.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Wave day...go go go

Because I'm off to the Hawkes Bay tomorrow and wasn't thinking about flying I overlooked consulting the RASP.
An observant local heavy metal pilot just rang and pointed out that it looks outstanding...
And so it does.
Wave locally as well as all the way down to the Hawkes Bay.
A 1000km day.


I note that the psuedo-international pilots in Australia have had a mixed day...the Pharamist only scored 36 points...what happened...however Maurice, the wave, Weaver did better than yesterday.

Whoops...rush of blood to the head...not so good wave day. Oh well maybe next week.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

A Parallel Universe...but not quite.

For those who's memory stretches back at least a week...I mentioned I was facilitating a club discussion for the local Hunt Club. That sport on horses, with hounds, funny trumpets and lots of tradition. Very poor method of pest control but great fun all the same.
So let's draw some comparisons between racing about the sky and racing about after hares,

A sport that has a long history - check
A sport that requires lots of personal investment - check
A sport that is time consuming - check
A sport that has built up a lot of assets in buildings and equipment - check
A sport that has plenty of passionate people - check
A sport that essentially run by volunteers - check
A sport that has a lot of people who have been around for a while and who are resistant to change -check
A sport that is struggling for young members - check
A sport that has a high turn over rate of members - check
And as a result of the last 2 issues....a sport with an increasing average age - check
A sport with a very high percentage of members involved in club committees (15 percent) - check

Do you see a pattern??

Can I see a solution?? No...not yet.





Monday, October 8, 2012

Aussie Nationals

Various Tauranga pilots are masquerading as International entries in the Australian Nationals being held in Kingaroy.
Our local drug dealer (otherwise called a pharmacist) will feel at home flying a JS1.

Go here for the only on-line coverage I can find - http://www.kingaroynationals.com/

It would appear that this interweb fang dangled thingy is a bit new out in the G.A.F.A...what does GAFA stand for??? The Great Australian Eff All...and it is...

What's even more frustrating???

I received a text this morning from an ex-pat Australian who's in Kingaroy for the Aussie Nationals...or some such contest.
Whats Kingaroy famous for? It's the former home of ex-Kiwi and past Queensland state premier - Sir Joh Bjelke-Peterson - what a man, he knew how to deal to a problem...just shoot it. Mitt, I'm not really a breed of sheep, Romney, could learn a thing or two from this chap.

Get this - 10,000ft cloud base and 10 knot climbs...amazing day...bastard.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

How frustrating is this...

I'm stuck in traffic on the Akl motorway heading north just south of the Drury turnoff...and I have just watched 3 glider trailers head south. In light traffic with smiles on their faces...buggers.
Looks like a wild ridge day. Forecast winds of 40 to 50 knots...yee ha.
Have fun Auckland people...think of me stuck in traffic followed by dress shopping for teenage girls.

Friday, October 5, 2012

It's gone strangely quiet...

I notice that Soaring Cafe http://soaringcafe.com/ hasn't posted much for 2 weeks now.
And the Cumulus Soaring site hasn't posted anything for a month. The regular newsletter produced by Paul was last regularly updated in November 2011...I guess if it's a yearly newsletter then that's regular on a geological scale.
However I edit the newsletter for my local club...I asked for content...I waited and waited...nothing. So it's not a only a local phenomenon.

Maybe gliding membership has finally dropped below a critical mass and it's all over folks???
However I did get around to reading an op-ed of the membership crisis in a soaring publication called Gliding International...it didn't add much to the pool of knowledge other than its a problem, someone should do something, but no one really knows what.

Maybe this might be of interest - I've been asked to facilitate a club discussion about;
- where members want the club to go?
- what to do about declining membership?
- how do we handle all these assets?
- what other things should the club be doing?
- how do we attract and hold onto younger potential members?

Sound vaguely familiar?
No, it's not a Gliding Club - it's the local Bay of Plenty Hunt Club. Not the hunting of deer, pigs or sheep, but that lot on horses with hounds, red jackets and funny trumpet thingy's.
It's  a great social day out, open air, new country, a bit of a challenge, no-one gets too badly hurt (except possibly a varmint or two), and it's a largely volunteer effort.
Hunt clubs have been around a while, have lots of assets from years of investment and bequeaths, and have a small pool of very keen volunteers.

I wonder if they view the possible challanges and outcomes any differently from what we do???


Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Could be a Wave day tomorrow...

It's definitely possible.
Wind at ground level - SW at 10-12 knots,
Wind at 6500ft a bit more south but still over the hills. - 20 knots

Only problem is the chance of showers that will hang up on the Kaimai's and destroy the airflow.
Let's see shall we...

If it's looking promising in the morning I might drag GNM out for a wave flight.

Update - But it wasn't that good...instead I rigged GNM and put it in the club hanger, and climbed in the local motor-glider (I still can't spell the name pipistel -or similiar) and spent an hour checking out a non-active Piako and soaring in the pressure wave on the Kaimai's.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Motivation

At last I got organised and dragged GNM out of the garage and went flying.
2 hours in weak thermals and some ridge lift in Matamata.
Not a day to write home about...or write to anyone about.
I spent half the flight flopping about in 0.5 of a knot close to the ground...yip that's fun.
However eventually we made the hills for a weak-ish ridge day. Wind was 10-12 knots so we got little actual ridge lift but ridge induced thermals...3 knots instead of less than 1.

BUT...I got to try out the LX V7...first impressions...
It's still cool...
Although the sound gets a bit of getting use to. Quite different from the old Cambridge.
There is so so many sound options that i've yet to sort what works best for me.
However the LX final glide agreed with the final glide on my SeeYou Ipaq.
And the averager on both also lined up...that helps.

I also manged to run both my old IPAQ and the new PNA I brought recently. The new screen is a mile better than the old trusty 3970 IPAQ. It's also far brighter than the Oudie as well...and a third the price.
So I now need a cable to connect the PNA to the V7...clear as mud???

Cumulus Soaring to the rescue...cable and shipping all for NZ$50. Great.

I nearly got to get my check ride in the new Duo GYL...but the tow plane disappeared so that will need to wait until another day.

Interestingly while I was in the Clubhouse waiting to pay I discovered a picture on the wall of the local Tow-plane BZA...taken in 1967 (when I was 3 years old)...it must have been 20 or so years old then. So here we are 45 years on and we are still towing behind 1940's technology.
I'm off to Wellington in the morning...would I rely on a DC3 to get me there???
Would I use a car built at the end of the war to get me to the airport??
Would I pay in pounds shillings and pence?
Would I eat 65 year old sandwiches for lunch??

Surely one day we will find a modern solution to this inequity????

Friday, September 21, 2012

What's up longer than it's down?

The sun, of course...as of today we get to see the sun for longer than 12 hours...summer is coming...just as assuredly as increased charges at the local club.

BUT - who has a BBQ at this time of the year??? Who really needs that extra hour of daylight at the end of the day...it only serves to remind you of all the jobs that need doing about the garden.
However in 2 weeks we get to move to that antipodean tradition of Day Light Saving.
Oh well...I guess I can expect the curtains to fade at a faster rate...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Pre-season Stuff

I was meant to go skiing today but we called it off because all the wx sites suggested it would be fairly average....how wrong they were...bodgery is term that comes to mind.
SO...with time on my hands I headed off to get a WoF for the Trailer.
I learnt that the tyres were different sizes...and had been that way for at least the last 5 years...suddenly it was a big issue...these chaps who issue pronoucements on the state of your vehicle do make you chuckle from time to time. Whilst taking a trailer in for a WoF is a waste of time and frustrating...try taking a truck in...

But the other more exciting news in my new gadget arrived. A PNA with SeeYou loaded as well as LK8000...with a screen significantly brighter than an Oudie. Thanks to Jerry from Canterbury.
Actually Navitar are going to carefully think about their long term strategy...while the Mobile software is quite cool...so are the free versions like XCSoar and LK8000.
Not only that but the PNA they are promoting (the Oudie) has been surpassed. A new business model is required.
However credit where credits due...the SoaringSpot site is very useful...as is  the contest scoring software...the trick will be delivering this while still making money from the basic PC and Mobile based software. I don't understand this stuff but something doesn't add up.

I'm clearly struggling for content at present but there are signs that that's about to change.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Textbook Land-out to start the season.

Our friendly Australian pulled off another textbook out landing.
Let's not quibble about why he had to land out...cloud base of 5200ft and big strong thermals all the way to Auckland (I know this because I flew overhead in a Q300 an hour earlier).

Let's focus on the important bit...choosing to go flying is voluntary, landing is compulsory...therefore land outs are part of our DNA.
But I should also note that a few of our club members have been critical of our antipodean friend's out landing skills. I should also point out that these constructively critical members (because most criticism at a gliding club is constructive...NOT...this is also in our "DNA") claim not to read this blog...so we are on safe ground.

What's important in a land-out?
Finding a good paddock or airstrip, landing in the right direction, plenty of room in the planning and execution phase, not hitting any sheep, and taking some good photo's afterwards.
So we can see the track...downwind, base and finals.
We can note that from turning final to landing was 25 seconds.
We can see he was 600ft above his airstrip mid downwind.
He landed up hill.
There were no sheep in the paddock...or if there were he has photo-shopped them out...
From where he took the photo he had been offered a cup of tea.

We can also see the Mount in the background...so if the airstrip was 800ft AGL and we know he started downwind 700ft above the strip why didn't he simply fly back to the big strip at Tauranga Airport??? Maybe because it was 22 kms away...I must ask...



Excellent.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Weather Warning

The RASP predicts today might actually work...as in thermals will be sighted.
Predicted cloud base over the Waikato/Tauranga area upto 7000ft.
Thermals of 6-7 knots...but before you get too excited the wind will be quite strong from the south.
20-25 knots...which will rip the thermals apart.


However if was about (and I'm not) I'd be getting organised.

 
8500ft cloud bases...really...too good to be true...

Monday, September 10, 2012

What are these people looking at??


The Piako Gliding Club Start of Season Briefing.
A great idea for three reasons;

It engenders some enthusiasm ...I got so enthused that I broke into the hanger storing the Duo I've agreed to buy into...and touched it. Actually I've flown the glider before...5 or so years ago in Omarama before it became the center of an accident.

I got to catch up with a few chaps and chap'ess that I hadn't seen in a while.

Oh and lastly, we were brought up to data with any changes about the place, or in the sky. The most notable is the closing of the local parachute operation due to Part 115. Whilst it will be nice not competing with a jump plane, a grumpy JumpMaster, and looking for chutes in the circuit area, the bigger issue is the total overkill of recreational aviations future. It's parachuting today, but in May 2013 it will be gliding.

I've said it before but I need to say it again. The total identified cost in accidents/injuries/deaths in gliding over the 8 years CAA reviewed was approx $18k. Some one may have tripped over climbing out of a glider and broke an ankle...for example. And in attempt to "save" the general public from themselves we (Gliding) will pay a huge price...gee thanks CAA.

Yes yes...I need to build a bridge and get over it...
Back to the briefing. Tim talked about the new gadgets that can/could be used in the cockpit. Most of this revolves around cheap and small GPS chips embedded in most new phones/tablets, the availability of cheap touch screen gadgets, and better batteries. I looked up a Nexus 7, there are real possibilities here although currently much of the new toys run with Android rather than MS. But give it time...

A westerly spring/summer beckons...time to find the EDS batteries, clean the spiders out of the O2 gear and find some warm socks.



Thursday, September 6, 2012

The changing face of sport...

A survey of college kids sports intentions is quite interesting. Increasing numbers are reluctant to sign up to team sports or sports with a large and regular time commitment. Rowing comes to mind...or rugby etc.
It appears that as there are more options on offer and motivated teenagers are participating in a wider variety of activities they don't want to be tied down to a single inflexible sport. Think back young grasshoppers to the 50's, 60's, and 70's (I can recollect at least one of these decades)...what was on offer...rugby, cricket, maybe rowing if lived in a urban area, horses in the country, and ballet (for the girls apparently). Commitment wasn't a problem...what else were you going to do on the weekend???

My gaggle of teenage girls are involved in music, drama, dancing, skiing, Amnesty International, school plays, debating...and that's only one of them. This is not uncommon...

Where am I going with this you might ask??? Well gliding is a time consuming sport that requires commitment and persistence to go X-country (going solo should not be the target). Are the modern teenagers willing to commit their weekends to sitting about a windy airfield, doing endless "Duty" days on the off chance of getting a flight?? Some will...most won't.

How do we change our approach at traditional gliding club to meet this challange? Because surely we want young enthusiastic people in the sport...not old grumpy buggers.
Youth glide is a great start...but I fear not a long term solution...
Getting them out on the field, not sitting doing timesheets would also be benefical.
Teaching them to fly in sexy new gliders not beat-up old K7's, Blaniks, Twin Astirs etc
Doing the techy stuff...facebook, web pages or whatever is the current fashion...

Any other ideas???

Good golly Miss Molly but these posts are getting wordy and boring...I should be out doing fun stuff...oh that's right I have been...last Friday was one of the best days I've had at Whakapapa this year...out skied both kids (but this could be the last year I can do that)...and met 12 cousins on the field for lunch...excellent.


Looking skyward...the westerlies are here...at least for the next 10 days. There should be a wave day in there somewhere. I saw a "Spot" track for a Ventus 2cx in the Kaimai wave yesterday...I'm guessing the ridge was working quite well...


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Finally....

Some-one has taken to the club website with a new broom.
The old photo of GNM beating up the crowd at the airshow 3 years ago has gone...excellent.
The club minutes are loaded...for reference.
A couple of new photos...always good for interest.
Some one has written an outstanding and helpful article on your first trial flight...what a chap he must be...give him a pass from being on the roster forever...
Keep it coming...

These days I believe a club website is the front window to whole shooting match.
The public "google" it to find out where the nearest club is and how to get there, what aircraft we have, the procedures, the costs and who the people are.
Just try going to the website of a club you know and see how it grabs you...I went to Darling Downs Gliding Club (sorry guys..I needed an example) a number of years back. For a long time the club site was dated, unchanging and the news was so old you wondered if gliding only happened once a year...did that inspire me to go back??? You bet it didn't... Then some-one has updated things...much better.  Does that inspire me now??? Well not really cos I'd rather go somewhere new...but you get the picture.
 Or go to the GlideOmarama site...similar story. No changes for 4 months...

Piako has some-one writing a "blog-type" entry each weekend about the flying, club issues and individual peoples achievements. I don't know hardly any of the people mentioned but its fresh and interesting.
Sure...we are all volunteers and a good website requires an enthusiast but the old days of newspaper adverts, signage, and hoping trial flighters will convert to members are over.

Go and troll through any number of others sport clubs websites (I know you won't) and ask yourself...what grabs you? What can we learn from this???

So well done whoever you are in Tauranga...

Oh and tomorrow might see the return of that weather phenomenon called wave...probably better in the morning...
The weekend looks like crap so I'll go over to Piako for the early season briefing...I have 2 spare seats in the big blue bus.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

I'm back...

Been skiing and traveling with work over the last week or two.

However amongst it all I attended a seminar in Wellington run by SportNZ (the old SPARC) on behalf of GNZ/Clubs (which is why I'm not always instructing). Such a beautiful Wellington day to be stuck either inside or on a plane.

A couple of really interesting bits;
Did you know that the NZ Rugby Union's Facebook page has 1.7million followers? I didn't...mainly because I didn't really care...however they can potentially sell this database to the next WorldCup (where ever that is). And Facebook sites have traded for upto $20 per follower...you do the math.
More importanly its a way of generating interest (and for them ticket sales) and keeping fans up to date.
We here in gliding haven't used this method much (we're all too old and stubborn...new fangled interweb stuff...it won't last...etc)...but maybe it's worth a look. And for those worry worts...there is a protocol for dealing with the unwanted stuff...The United States Air Force Negative Attack Tactical Response Plan...I kid you not...they really do go after you with a Predator Drone. But seriously there is such a plan...

Go have a look at Equestrian Sport NZ (the horsey people) as another example...

VolunteeringNZ...another group that could help our clubs deal with Duty Pilot stuff. I intend to go visit the local branch and have a wee chat about what options are available. Apparently there are 1.3 million volunteers in NZ...which means the other 3 million watch TV I guess...
The interesting thing about volunteering is some people do the visible and obvious stuff (instructing, club committee and so forth) and others work behind the scenes...but it isn't a contest its a group effort.

The other interesting observation about the group of National Sports Organisations represented in Wellington last Wednesday is most of them are full or part time employees of their respective sports. Sports like boxing, Pony clubs, table tennis, Water Polo, Synchronised splashing, Australian Football ( that weird sport played in very short shorts by even stranger South Australians), Archery, and even Gliding.

Change of subject...I'm about to recieve a new PNA. I've discovered a source that's way cheaper than the advertised options, with a better screen and the chap will load either SeeYou or LK8000. Excellent...my IPAQ is getting a bit tired, although the screen is still better than the Oudie's. I'm yet to be impressed with the Oudie option...

So with all this new stuff, and a share in a Duo to be finalised, I'd better start looking skyward...
And the very last gadget I just tripped over is a HD camera that links live to your phone so you can operate, record and store the video's on your smart phone. Stick the camera on the tail, or wind, or where ever and start/stop and see whats recording on your phone. All this for $300...

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Odds and sods...

Here in NZ we live at the bottom of the globe...if you need evidence of this just have a wee look at Piako's live webcam...

Currently there is a tow-plane being advertised in Europe...its looks like it was developed during WW2...although the same could be said of Cubs, Pawnee's and Lycoming engines...however the really interesting feature is this pilot has lost his instructor...


Eff...what do I do now???
Actung...Spitfire...no wait its a Discus...

A group of cows is a "herd", a group of sheep is a "flock" (mind you so is a group of church goers...), so what is a group of baboons?? A low intelligent, loud and badly behaved primate??? A Parliament...

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Bits and Pieces

With the end of the Olympics came the release of how much money Sport NZ (aka the taxpayer) spent on High Performance Sport...in a word "heaps". Rowing got $19.2 million. Good on them...as a result we got gold medals...well done, well done indeed.

You may know that we glidering people received $16k (that's thousands...not millions) last year. Not that we should complain as we only number 800 odd (odd in every sense...silly white hats etc) but could we do better with more spent on high performance coaching and training?
Certainly rowing, athletics, swimming and others take this approach. Select a development team and put in the time, effort, enthusiasm and cash.

It's worth noting that the the World Juniors will be held in Australia (that big flat place nearby with snakes, spiders, sharks, croc's, and Pauline Hansen) in 2015. What a target.

The other world class competition is underway again in Uvalde after a rest day. A short task...400kms, and slower speeds...only 150kph. Piece of cake really...not.

It's still raining. We are upto 600mm's in the last 3 weeks...I may as well live in Greymouth or Westport...or even Reefton. But the good part is we now receive an extra hour of daylight than 2 months ago, and the days are getting longer by 2 minutes per day.
The Piako Club is having it's pre-season briefing in 3 weeks...so clearly pilots are awakening, looking outside, and dreaming of high bases, 10 knot climbs, and long cloud streets...and then they wake up.

However I've always thought a pre-season briefing is a great idea so I'll trundle over the hill on the day. I raised the idea locally but apparently we glide all winter and stay current, procedures never change, and we don't like learning things...yeah right. Oh well...change and new ideas are hard...

News is on...I'm off...seeya.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

It's as big as Texas...

This Concordia glider thingy...
Just imagine landing this on an airstrip up some valley with a tail wind...YeeHaa...


It's like going into McDonald's...ordering an ASW27 and then asking to "supersize me young man"...


Anyhow...the interesting points out of the WGC in Uvalde (said You-val-Dee so I'm told) are the speeds. The Open class winner yesterday ( A Pommy chap...lost in Texas) averaged 161kph on a thermal task. No ridges or wave here young grasshoppers. Just big thermals, 10 knot climbs, very long glides, and lots and lots of ballast.
The other point to note is the Amercians finally conceded that their scoring site was crap (you heard it here first) and opted for SoaringSpot. About time.
I should be careful what I say here...they still have the Death Penalty in the Lone Star State...but then again they still have Dubya...a bit like having a batty old aunt in the family that no-one likes to talk about...

And it's raining again...like you didn't already know this...
Another 100mm's over night...to add to the 475mm's we have had since mid-July. In a word - wet...
But take heart Nth Island folks...I twas in Christchurch yesterday and it was grey, wet and cold.

Oh... and I missed an important milestone...this blog has been running for 3 year last May. 720 posts later and I'm still finding interesting ways to test peoples patience.


Friday, August 10, 2012

I don't often do this...

But a comic peice that arrived in the inbox I thought was worth sharing. Any bits in brackets are my additions;


U.S.A.RECESSION


The recession has hit everybody really hard...

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail

CEO's are now playing miniature golf. (with miniature putters)
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. (only 25?)
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer. (and are using beef again)
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. (Brad Pitt perhaps?)
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room. (and an intern?)
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally....
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.